Do you ever feel like you may have set the bar too low for yourself?  Maybe you are feeling a little bit under-appreciated by members of the opposite sex.  It’s never too late to re-evaluate your worth and put yourself back out there as the updated version of your former self.  Everyone deserves a second chance, and now it’s time to take yours.

But whatever you do, don’t do it as a New Year’s resolution.  Resolutions get broken.  Like clockwork, every February, resolutions get dumped.  This is a real change.  This is the kind of modification that should last a lifetime, if you can stick with it.

Start small

In order to make a few small changes, you have to discover why you feel less than great.  Make a list of things about yourself that will be easy to change.  Start with two things.  If you are having trouble coming up with easy to change (yet common) bad habits, try these:

Stand a little taller.  Forget the humble slouching!  That was the old you, and that person didn’t really turn heads.  Stand tall and proud.  Push your shoulders back and look ahead.  People will notice, and it will be in a positive way.

If you care, they’ll care

Take off the sweat pants and put on jeans.  I always say that the least you can do in the morning is put on jeans.  Try it if you are looking for a “quick pick-me-up” change to your frumpy, college look.  I guarantee jeans and a white shirt will always look better than sweat pants and a white shirt.

Step your game up

If you can handle changing them without too much disruption to your life, go for something a little more challenging.  Pick something that you know will take a lot of hard work and time.  Maybe losing those ten pounds?  Or maybe it could be getting that job you keep talking about to make some extra money so you can stop mooching off of your friends.  Admit it, nobody likes a mooch.

A new day

One of the best ways to start fresh and present the best new you is to talk less and listen more.  Listen to what your friends are saying.  Listen to how they are reacting to what you say.  Sometimes we get so caught up in what we want to say that we disregard what our friends and significant others have to say.  Whether you have a problem with this or not, it doesn’t hurt to evaluate yourself and see if you can make a change for the better.

Besides, everyone can use a little constructive criticism.  You are your own biggest critic, so use it to your advantage.

There are three great ways to warm up this season:

1.  Wear your new hat and glove set
2.  Drink a few classic winter drinks
3.  Indulge in the rediscovered deliciously warm cocktail

Ok, number one is a given.  Number two consists of the usual beverages (spiked or not), such as hot apple cider, hot chocolate, eggnog, etc.  But number three may be the best new way to warm up when the weather gets too chilly to go outside.

I’d like to introduce you to the Hot Toddy.  You may have heard of the Hot Toddy before since it was commonly used as a cold remedy when our parents and grandparents were growing up.  A little whiskey here, a little honey there, a squeeze of lemon and down the hatch it goes.

Bars across America have brought back the old sore throat cure but added a few twists to make it a tasty treat. Here is the standard recipe to begin your Hot Toddy before making your own personal adjustments:

Hot Toddy
1 shot of whiskey
1 teaspoon of honey
3 ounces of hot water
2 lemon wedges

The trick to the Hot Toddy is making sure you put the whiskey in last.  It’s easy to cook out the alcohol in this drink if you mix it all together and then put it in the microwave.  Don’t ruin the party by accidentally sobering up your guests.

To start, squeeze the lemon wedges into a cup and drop in the peels.  Add the honey and microwave until hot.  Then mix in hot water, however you choose to heat it.  Finally, stir in a shot of whiskey.  Or, be bold and add two shots.

If you want to take this classic beverage and put a modern twist to it, add a flavored tea bag of your choice to your hot water.  Try Orange pekoe and a splash of Cointreau.  Any form of citrus tea will be a great addition.  Maybe get a little spicy and work with cinnamon and nutmeg tea.  It’s up to you!  Guess, test and revise to make your own favorite Hot Toddy mix.

However you make your Hot Toddy, remember that it’s more than a winter drink, it’s also a delightful sore-throat elixir.

And so it begins

To all of you who have watched someone crash and burn this way, say “I.”  What some unfortunate people don’t know is that getting her to agree to a date is only the tip of the iceberg.  Face it: you have an entire mountain of baggage under that tip that you haven’t even seen yet.  Let’s call them friends and family.

Everyone knows that it’s a lot harder to have a healthy and happy relationship without the approval of friends and family.  What most people don’t know is just how easy it is to win them over.

Gift giving: not just for holidays

In the business world, they use incentives.  In the fashion and entertainment industry, they use swag bags.  In our world, they’re called gifts and don’t be afraid to use them.  Never underestimate the power of a present, whether it’s homemade, generic, expensive, thoughtful or even last minute.

In the dating world, there are three easy ways to “encourage” friends and family to accept you with open arms:

1. Buy her friends their first round of drinks. This should be a given, but for some reason it’s often overlooked.  If you missed the first round, get the second.  They won’t expect you to buy them drinks all night, unless they are total freeloaders.  In that case, forget about using this tactic on them because it will cost you a fortune.  College isn’t an easy time to spend big, but one round of drinks at a cheap bar may cost you less than $20.
2. Bring a gift. Whether your girlfriend’s parents or friends invited you to their home, make sure you don’t come empty-handed.  If you don’t want to make a scene by doing something extra sweet like bringing flowers, go low-key.  Bring a bottle of wine.  It doesn’t need to be the most expensive bottle at the liquor store, but do yourself a favor and get something a step up from Arbor Mist.  If you are too young to drink, pick up something from a bakery.  Anything.  It’s the thought that counts, and it really works.
3. Express your thanks. If you are lucky enough to have made it through a home visit with her parents, or any kind of gathering where you didn’t treat, show your gratitude.  Don’t just say thank you right then, which you definitely should.  Send a handwritten note in the mail.  It will take you less than five minutes to have it signed, sealed and in the mail.  Trust me, her parents won’t think it’s cheesy, regardless of what your friends say.  They aren’t the ones who have to deal with the in-laws for the foreseeable future.

Remember, first impressions last a lifetime.  But even a gift as simple as the newest scented candle from Yankee Candle Company can swing the crowd back in your favor in no time.

As far as relationships go, some of the best gifts are free.  Not to say the expensive ones aren’t amazing.  They are, and please keep them coming.  But like most college students, you probably can’t afford to spend hundreds of dollars for every occasion.  Sometimes we find ourselves still financially recovering from Christmas when Valentine’s Day rolls around.  And everyone knows being “forgetful” (broke and too busy to care) on Valentine’s Day is the ultimate let down.

Even expensive gifts can turn out to be busts if there was no time or effort put into it, although, jewelry is rarely off-putting.  But what I’m trying to get across, in so many words, is that many people think gifts are tricky.  But the great thing is that they don’t have to be.

Crank it up a notch

If you are hoping to kick your relationship up a notch during this extended holiday season (through Valentine’s Day and beyond), don’t forget what brought you two together in the first place—the thrill of the hunt.  Oftentimes, once the hunt for a guy or girl is over, everyone assumes the fun and exciting times have to be too.  That’s just not true.

In fact, one of the best ways to reinvent that “thrill of the hunt” feeling is to use surprises.  Build the suspense in your gift exchange.  Make the gift worthwhile, though, or else next time your partner won’t be looking forward to the end of the surprise.

IOU variety

It may sound corny, but bring back the IOU’s (I owe you).  It will be a pleasant surprise, as long as they are relevant.  They don’t have to be ridiculous or ultra girly.  Just be yourself when you are thinking them up and writing them down.  Create IOUs that your boyfriend or girlfriend will want to cash in, and make sure you will actually go through with whatever you wrote down.  Backing out of an IOU makes for a boring and uneventful evening.

A few G-rated IOUs you can mix in with your “private time” IOUs:

-One “Lose the Argument” coupon.  When presented to you, you have to drop the fight.  People should use these more often, considering the ridiculous arguments we all get into from time to time.

-One “Go get me some Ice Cream” coupon.  When presented to you, you have to get up immediately and go out to get your boyfriend or girlfriend their favorite ice cream treat.  Get inventive and use it for any type of food, snack, or drink.

-One “Let’s watch what I want to watch on TV” coupon.  When presented to you, you have to give up the remote.  Not only this, but you have to happily watch your partner’s program without complaining.  The worst it can be is an hour.

Mix up your coupons with any fun activity that you know your boyfriend or girlfriend loves to do.  This type of gift is about not being selfish.  It’s about showing them how well you know them, and you want them to know that the thrill is still there.