Decision Time
Well, the date is over and you are either thinking of what to do next or how to let down this person nicely. If you’re considering the former you should be feeling confident and excited to want to spend some more time with them. Depending on your date you can end things in several ways. First, you walk your date home, say it was a great time and you look forward to getting together again real soon. Now go home and wait for the phone to ring. This is typical. What’s fun with typical? Nothing.
Going for a Second Date
A better way to ensure you’ll get a second date is all in the first date you have. Now, to clarify, I mean the topics you discussed on your date. The whole getting to know you phase has just begun and you’ve got plenty of new facts buzzing around in your head that are just dying to get some use. Think of all the things you talked about on the date and make one of them into a follow-up evening. Did he/she like talking about music? How about a concert? Sports? Try going to a game. Colleges have many different teams playing at all times of the year. Need help with a lab report or a paper; why not hit the library together? The key is to keep in tune with your date and ask them sooner rather than later for that follow up. Knowing someone wants to hang out with you is always a plus and showing you’re excited enough to look forward a week or so makes it even better.
If you find yourself too nervous to come up with something on the spot than yes, sleep on it, but call right away to keep the interest fresh. No one likes to sit by the phone waiting or playing any of those dating games. If you’re interested–show it, otherwise, move on.
If a Second Date is the Farthest Thing From Your Mind
On the flip side, if you find yourself at the end of a date that feels like it was never going to end you should probably stop it right then and there. Sparing someone’s feelings by giving them false hope is cruel and only going to hurt both of you in the long run. Be open and honest. State that you don’t see the relationship developing any further and that, although you enjoyed the opportunity to meet the other, it just won’t work. It’s hard to turn people away, but it’s a few moments of being uncomfortable rather than weeks of e-mails and phone calls.
Bow Out Gracefully
This goes both ways. If you are on the receiving end of a let down, take it graciously. Don’t waste time sending e-mails or calling trying to get this person to go on another date. It’s not cute or endearing—it’s annoying. Go out and spend that energy on searching for your next date and, if you’re honest and true to yourself, you’ll find a second is not that far away!
Have you ever been denied a second date in a crapy way? Or, gone on another date just because you didn’t want to hurt their feelings?
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